Happy 48th Independence Day, Malaysia!

Posted On August 31, 2005

Filed under Personal

Comments Dropped 6 responses

The clock strikes 12 and it’s our 48th National day today, 31st August. Lots of celebration all over nation wide which is airing live on T.V and here am I blogging my time here. What am I supposed to do today? Shouldn’t I be celebrating the countdown as well? I feel quite empty on this kind of countdown celebration.

It reminds me of New Year Countdown, Christmas Countdown which happened in the past. And one unforgotten memory of mine which happened on 31st of 2001, the night I was thinking to die. Thinking back of those committing suicide thoughts which happened before makes me shuddered. Why would I with everything wanted to die? The depression was too deep, that I cannot control myself from being negative.

Today, after losing many things in my life, by God’s grace, I have found myself. The time I have stopped from blogging since December last year, I am actually living in the dark. I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow, as each day passed, I’m dreading everything. There are too many things happened in these 8 months that I don’t know how to express them in words.

Living in this world is never easy. Pain, frustration, greed, and all kind of evil are dominating this world. I don’t understand why would human kind can be that selfish, greedy and full of hatred. Where is Love that is deep inside us? Is love really less worthy than money and treasures? I will always remember what Jake told me before about a year ago. It still plays in my mind, “Money talks, bullshit walks”. I used to laugh because it is funny the way he expressed it. It is indeed true in this world. Never any less from what is being quoted. I have seen in real, my relatives and friends are money-minded. From my own experiences, I might add one more, “No Money, No Love”. Does money really rule everything? Whenever I see people whom drool over rich people or boot licking them, I feel like throwing up.

I wanted to scream, I don’t know why. Perhaps I’m too psychotic, my craziness level is over limit? One thing Jake reminds me of getting a life out there. Thanks to Jake! I’m really trying very hard to get rid of my gaming addictions. It’s really beyond my control.

I have been attending to church activities lately. I have been dreading again. Pastor Tommy had asked me numerously to play for the church. I’m trying to avoid because I’m terrible in recital. Out of a sudden, my mouth (slaps) opened and told Pastor Tommy that I will be in for this week’s praise and worship and will play. Oh-oh. I haven’t touched my piano for years. How am I going to play?

Church life is kinda exciting and busy. I don’t know since when I have started to like a guy from the church. He is cute and friendly (the only one guy that really shakes my hand every Sunday). Funny, isn’t it? I told Jake about him and Jake taught me skills of uh… flirt with that guy. Jake, your teaching won’t work for a guy from the church. It will only make things worst.

Back to square one – Waterkisses is alive once again and newly born too ^^V

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6 Responses to “Happy 48th Independence Day, Malaysia!”

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