Posted On October 19, 2004

Filed under Personal

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Tuesday sucks, that’ the nick on my msn messenger today. Marc laughed at me for being his nick copycat. Yeah, but today really sucks. There is no other word to substitute it. Well, I intro Marc into playing CO (Gosh, I can’t get rid of CO of my mind!). This sounds so pathetic. I know I’m pathetic. So what? Just don’t care what others think. I am myself, waterkisses, is trying to be waterkisses, not watertears.

It must be something that upset me. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know what am I thinking about. Maybe I’m trying to escape from reality which is so wrong. Yes, it is so WRONG. But I can’t help it. Tell me what should I do?

I’m having the feeling of going to Qbar again. Oh, my… I’d promised myself of not going to that place anymore, without anyone accompanying me. Qbar is so tempting!! I want my tequila…tequila… I think I can hear voices inside me persuading me to have the nice tequila shot. I’m evil. Tequila makes me lick my lips. Damn…such an irresistible feeling.

I haven’t touched my “Time-Kept Promises” for a very long time. It is way too long. I am not into any mood of continuing in writing my novel. Yes, I’d always dream to be a writer. Since the day I’d started to chat, everything changed. I’m getting worst to use the right word. Whatever is it, I’d finished the prologue. Yes, only the prologue. Where are the remaining chapters? They are kept deep inside my heart. Perhaps one day, I will write a novel of myself, my life and my world. It is not the right time yet. I do believe, I will make it one day.

“If only there is a “Undo” button in this life, it would be so great….”


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